It's All Upside Down
by MalRegal
Summary: After the return to Storybrooke from Neverland all seems to be going surprisingly well for Emma Swan...but when she wakes up to a very strange happening one morning, there's only one person she would think of going to first. Regina. AU, as if Pan never switched with Henry. DiscIaimer: do not own Once or any of its characters.


_**Hey everyone!**_

_**So I wanted to get this out before I did anything else, because I really like this idea. I hope you all do too, and don't forget to leave some love in the box at the bottom. Thank you so much for reading. :D **_

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Emma groans as her alarm rings out from her iPad. It sounds like a train has hit her eardrum.

She gets up and shuffles indifferently to the bathroom, doing everything she normally does before plodding downstairs for her own little saviour: coffee.

She makes her way into the kitchen before freezing in her tracks, her eyes wide and mouth agape.

The kitchen is spotless, and something has obviously been cooked.

Well.

'What the...'

'You know you really should get dressed before coming downstairs in the morning, you look scruffy.' Mary-Margaret glides into the kitchen, sporting a black power suit, killer heels, smoothed down hair and...are those glasses?

'I just got out of bed, what ARE you wearing?'

'Tone, young lady, I don't have time for that. Work, you have it, I presume? Your dear father is leaving now he can take you if you can get ready in...' She looks down at her watch. '2 minutes and 46 seconds.' She looks back up at her daughter with a raised eyebrow.

'Y...you know what, I've uh...I've got my car I'll take myself...like I always do.'

'Hmm, suit yourself, wouldn't catch me dead in that thing, anyway. David? Come on.'

Exactly two minutes and 32 seconds later, David strolls out of the bathroom while straightening the cufflinks on his also jet black...suit... What the hell?

'Dont be late to work today Emma, I have a lunch date with George and i want to take all the credit from all the hard work you do.' He jeers at me, before pulling out Ray-Bans at the same time his wife pulls out her Dolce and Gabbana shades and replaces her glasses. They begin to leave.

'By the way, you're annoying and you need to change your fashion choices,' David says before he struts out while whistling some dubstep tune Emma heard on the radio the week before. Last week David didn't know what dubstep was.

'Your father's right, those pyjamas are sickening. What is wrong with you today?' She shakes her head before shutting the door on their now...spotless...apartment.

'That was the weirdest thing that has ever happened in my life.'

'I'm...I'm gonna...why am I still talking to myself, ugh...call Henry, yeah,' she babbles.

She dials Henry's cell number and let's it ring.

'What do you want?'

'Uh, hello to you too dear son,' she says with a snark, scrunching her noses as she smiles.

'Please don't call me that.'

'Um...okay, listen; wanna go to the park later? I bought a new baseball mitt yesterday, would be grateful if ya, you know, helped me try it out... There's a new bat in it for ya...'

'I hate baseball. And you. So please stop calling me.' He hangs up, and Emma's mouth is more wide open than it was when she saw the kitchen.

'He loves baseball.'

I gotta find out what's up.

She quickly makes her coffee and runs upstairs to dress. She runs downstairs again, putting the coffee in a flask before leaving the mug on the side. She stops in her tracks and looks back at it. It no longer fits in such a spotless honme. She curses quietly and washes the mug hurriedly, putting it back in the cupboard. She puts it back crookedly without noticing, and goes to the coat hanger, sliding her black leather jacket on.

She looks down at herself, and David's comment races through her mind.

She snaps out of her self assessment and goes to the door handle, and is about to walk out of the apartment when she sees the crooked mug amongst all the others. She stops and falters, trying to ignore it.

She cannot help herself and runs over to adjust it, before storming out of the door and screaming in frustration as she slams it hard.

Emma walks into the diner and over to the counter. Ruby is at the opposite side, and she seems to be a little more normal than her super douche parents.

'Hey, Ruby?'

Ruby doesn't look up from whatever she's doing.

'Ruby?'

'RUBY.'

'What, what do you want?'

'Could I uh, get my breakfast order to go, because I would like some food and this is a diner?'

'Alright saviour, no need for the snark,' Ruby bites back lazily.

She doesn't move.

'Ruby.'

'What?'

'Breakfast. To go. Now. You do actually have a job, right? Did Granny fire you or something?'

'Are you kidding? That woman doesn't have the balls to fire me. She can't even do the books right.'

'Uh...I'm sorry, this is Widow Lucas we are talking about, yes?'

'Yeah. What is wrong with you? You're weird today.'

'So are you.'

'Bitch.'

Emma just raises her eyebrows and tries to keep her mouth closed.

'B-b-breakfast order to go Emma? Here you go. E-enjoy.' Granny hands it over quickly before tottering, terrified, back into the closed rooms in the diner.

'Uh...oh, okay...thanks...'

'Bye, annoying person.'

Emma looks up at Ruby. 'What the hell is up with you people today?!'

Ruby makes a non committal I dunno sound before going back to her magazine. Emma walks to the door and kicks it on her way out.

Emma strolls up the porch to the house of Mills and presses the doorbell.

'It's fucking open,' she hears from inside.

Her eyebrows have never hit her hairline so fast.

She opens the door and immediately goes to the study. She cannot believe the sight.

There are papers everywhere, all requiring a signature, and the fountain pen ink has been spilled all over one page, the pen itself gone.

'Regina? What the hell is going on here?' She swears she can see a cobweb on the fan.

'What?' She hears from the living room.

Emma decides to go into the living room, and what she sees next is the most horrifying thing she has ever encountered in her life.

Regina Mills is sat on the sofa, sporting dark grey sweatpants and a lighter grey Utah Jazz large t-shirt. On her lap is a box of Chips Ahoy and a large pack of Lays Barbecue Potato Chips, and crumbs surround her vicinity. Even more food is piled on the table, clothes are everywhere and her son is nowhere to be found. On the TV, Leslie Knope is wearing a helmet that says Ass without realising how stupid she looks.

'What's happenin', saviour? You want something?' Regina smiles nonchalantly before going back to The Parks and Rec Universe.

The next thing Emma does is something she has only ever done before by the aid of a ship's pulley block.

She faints.

~~~~~~~~~~~~()~~~~~~~~~~~~

Emma wakes up after two hours, and sits up, holding the side of her head.

'Owwww,' she moans, scrunching up her face in pain.

She looks over to Regina, who is still slouched on the sofa, having moved on to Chilli Doritos. The woman notices that Emma has awakened, but doesn't turn her attention away from the TV.

'So all this wasn't a dream,' Emma whines.

Emma groans and falls back down onto the pillow that has magically appeared there. She takes it out from underneath her head, and looks at it, wondering how it got there.

'Henry may hate your guts, but he's got love in there somewhere for ya.'

Emma looks over to Regina immediately. 'Henry doesn't hate my guts!'

'He does now. Anyway, I assume you wanted something earlier. Out with it, Swan,' Regina says, finally turning her attention to Emma on the other couch. 'I know this is new, but what else is happening?'

'Yeah, I do. My parents are now super bitch and super douche, Ruby is acting like I'm the scum of the earth, and you're – wait, you know?'

'Well yeah. I never get affected by a curse because I cast a real big one myself. I – reject… minor curses?'

'You're immune, you mean.'

'That,' Regina says, looking like she has seen the centre of the universe.

'So you know that you watching…three Seasons of Parks and Recreation and eating…Chilli Doritos and Chips Ahoy is not normal for you.'

'Are you kidding? I'm the fucking mayor, of course not. I'm speaking funny too. It's like I've turned into the…ultimate couch tomato.'

'Potato.'

'Dammit. It's making me stupid too.'

'Got that. Any theories about who's responsible for this? Wasn't you and your hormones, was it?'

'Hey, I'm not hormonal!' Regina raises her voice a little.

Emma just cocks an eyebrow, and Regina pouts before going back to the TV. Apparently, Ron Swanson with braids and a kimono is more interesting than Emma.

'Well…who else in this town has magic and would use it to do something like this?'

'Oooh! Ooh! Hey I know this one… is iiiiit….Mr. Silver?'

'Almost. Gold.'

'Damn! Freakin Curse. Your name is Emma Swan, right?'

'Sure is. Don't worry, you have mine right.'

Regina turns to Emma and smiles at this, a sincere smile that Emma is sure she will never see again once she's figured this out. So she smiles back.

'Right, Regina, time to get you up,' she says, bouncing out of her seat and going over to the woman.

'There's one small problem with that.'

'What?'

'I can't get up.'

'Sure you can, you're just lazy.'

'No, I really can't. Unless I fundamentally need to go to the bathroom, I stay glued to this couch. There's really nothing I can do, I tried already.'

'So what are you saying, that I have to wait till you need the bathroom or I have to pull you up.'

'Wouldn't hurt to try both. Preferably the first one…' She clutches the Doritos like a baby.

'I'm afraid the second one sounds more appealing right now.' She grips onto Regina's shoulders and pulls. But Regina has absolutely no energy. Not even reserves. Emma is trying to use her whole strength, but is then thwarted when she gets a whiff of Regina's breath.

She drops her back on the sofa and covers her mouth and nose. 'Oh, Jesus Christ Regina! Can you not brush your teeth when you go to the bathroom?!'

'I can't, my muscles won't work! Dammit!'

'Fine. Look, I literally cannot walk around with you like this. I am going to get you up, and I am going to get you walking, and I am going to make sure that you get better. All of you go back to normal. I can't stand this, and I've only been enduring it for three hours.

'So I'm gonna go and get you a can of Red Bull, you're gonna drink it all in one go. I'm gonna get a bucket of clean water, get a toothbrush and some toothpaste, and you're gonna brush your teeth, right here right now. Then, you're gonna get dressed, and in the short energy boost you'll have we are gonna go to Mr. Gold's. We will sort out this mess. Okay?'

'I kinda like being lazy.'

'Trust me, if you were you yesterday, you would despise yourself right now.'

'I guess so.'

Emma goes to the fridge to find that Red Bull is stocked in the bottom right corner, and bends to pick one out of the fridge.

She stands and turns to Regina, who she finds is staring right at her. She looks away quickly and turns her head to the TV.

'Were you staring at my ass?'

'No.'

Emma just raises her eyebrows and opens the can, handing it to Regina. It seems her muscles will let her, and she glugs the thing down in one go.

Emma waits five minutes, and hopes she doesn't regret her decision.

~~~~~~~~~~()~~~~~~~~~~~

Wired.

That is the only word to describe Regina Mills right now.

Totally. Fucking. Wired.

She's rushing around the bedroom, leaving the bomb site that is downstairs and trying to find a suitable item of clothing. Emma simply walks over to her wardrobe, and rifles through the pant suits and dresses that adorn the walls. She picks out a pair of jeans and a shirt that seems casual enough – this Regina, the one that is pacing her bedroom floor in her…underwear, seems as if she would prefer casual to her power suits.

_Underwear._

_Wow, her body is amazing._ She has a flat stomach, a two pack even looking like it may emerge soon, along with toned arms and leg muscles.

And…Emma snaps out of her blatant ogling of Regina when her eyes reach the woman's boobs.

'Here. Found these.'

'Thank you, Thank you very much, Thank you,' Regina babbles back to her, quickly putting them on.

Man, she is wired – she's practically shaking with energy.

They walk past Henry's room, where Emma hears loud heavy metal music echoing off the walls. She knocks and pushes the door open, where Henry is sitting with an Xbox and using the controller rather aggressively.

'Shouldn't you be at school, Henry?'

'GET OUT!'

She shuts the door quickly, and a shoe hits the other side of the door, obviously aimed at her head. She looks slightly frightened when she goes downstairs. She sees Regina pacing around the floor.

'Well, let's roll before your energy boost wears off,' Emma says, and she follows a bouncing Regina out of the house.

'Ooooooh can I drive?' Regina asks excitedly, clapping her hands and bouncing on the spot.

'No.' Emma looks at her with a deadpan stare, and then gets in the driver's seat of the bug.

Regina almost rocks in her seat as Emma drives off quickly to get to Mr. Gold's.

She's not sure how much more of this she can stand.

~~~~~~~~~~~~()~~~~~~~~~~~~

Emma throw the door open to Mr. Gold's shop and calls out for the man, who turns around instantly.

He no longer carries a cane, so he uses both his hands to point at Emma in a jovial manner, a smile splitting his face.

'Emma Swan. This is – literally – the loveliest surprise.'

Emma just looks at him confused, and then sighs. 'Cut the crap, Gold, I don't want this to carry on any longer. What's happening to everybody? Please, God, explain that to me.'

She points over to Regina who is touching the wind chimes, which let off a quiet little wisp of sound which has the Latina pulling her hands into her chest and looking at it with wonder.

'That – is Regina Mills. And she is a wonderful person. What else is there to say?'

Emma's eyes widen.

'Okay, please, stop fucking with me. I'm begging you here.'

'I'm – fucking with you? I do not believe I am. Is there something I can do for you today?'

Emma just gapes at him. 'You're cursed too.'

'Whatever are you talking about, Emma? I'm perfectly fine.' He sports a huge grin on his face.

'Rumple, stop paying attention to them. Pay attention to me. Now...'

She recognizes the voice as Belle's. She sounds like a petulant teenager.

'Belle French! I'll be there in – literally – ten seconds.'

'You better be, idiot.'

Emma cannot be more surprised by this point.

'Uhhhh…'

'If you'll excuse me, I have to go. It was lovely to see you.' He grins again, before running to the curtain. He turns back and points at her again.

'Emma Swan.'

She's then alone with Regina, who is just about to take out Charming's sword –

_Shit. _

'Whoa whoa whoa don't touch that!'

But Emma is too late. Regina has already sliced her hand open with the sharp implement, and is staring at her palm with bulging eyes.

Emma goes over and takes Regina's hand in her palm, examining the cut.

'We gotta get you to a hospital, this'll need stitches. Dammit, Regina,' she says, looking at the woman's face. She's turned a funny grey colour, and tears are stinging at her eyes.

'Hey, you're gonna be okay, don't cry, please don't cry,' Emma soothes, starting to panic.

She leads Regina to the car and sits her in the front seat, retrieving the tissue from the back. After Henry was sick in her car, she bought a roll of kitchen roll and stowed it under the back seat.

She continually wraps tissue around the wound, but she cannot seem to quell the blood flow. Regina is getting dizzier by the minute.

'Ah, crap,' she mutters, and begins to start the car.

'Can you not… c-c-can't you heal it?'

'Yeah, we can, if we get you to a ho-'

'No, I mean, you can heal it. With your magic.'

Emma's eyes widen with panic again. 'I can't do that, Regina. I could cut your hand off or something?'

'Can you try, please?' Regina says thickly, the water in her eyes starting to leak from her eyelids.

Emma looks at Regina with a panicked look, and Regina just stares back at her, tears starting to flow down her face. She's scared. Very scared.

'O-okay,' Emma says quietly, and she reaches out to wipe the tears from Regina's face. To her surprise, Regina leans into her touch. It makes her heart leap to the moon and back. She smiles at the gesture and then positions her hands over the gaping wound.

'Come on, magic is emotion…magic is emotion…feel it,' she mutters under her breath.

To her absolute astonishment, her magic starts to flow from her hands to Regina's injured hand.

First the excessive amount of blood clears, and the cut can just be seen. Then the cut seems to knit itself together millimetre by millimetre, until it's sealed completely. All that is left is a thin pink line that looks like a scar that has been there for years.

Emma takes the hand gently and looks at it in wonder.

Regina does the same, looking up at Emma.

'You did it!' She says, and Emma snaps her head up. She remembers that tone. It's the tone she used when she woke Henry in the hospital.

'Are you…are you okay?'

'Yeah, I'm feeling awesome!' She says, smiling goofily at Emma. Emma had hoped that it was starting to wear off – alas, she was wrong.

Regina's smile starts to fade, and her eyes start to droop a little.

'I think… I think the Red Bull is…wearing…'

Regina falls back in her seat and Emma panics, thinking that she may have just dropped dead in the front seat of her car.

When she hears the light snore from the woman in the passenger seat, she exhales, relieved.

She squeezes Regina's hand once, liking the feel of her soft skin, and looks at the snoring woman. There are no lines on her face, nor a frown etched onto her mouth. She looks amazingly peaceful. And Emma does very much love a sight like that.

'Nothing like a sudden power nap to make someone less intimidating.'

She carefully puts Regina's hand down and then starts the car, driving back to the Mills' residence.

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